Woe unto me when I a mortal constantly question the Immortal why He refused to answer me. Woe unto me when I'm tired of counting hours, days, months and years. Woe unto me when I began to think if I should search for an alternative solution. Woe unto me when I always look at those around me and weary of waiting further. Woe unto me when worry and doubt overshadowed my mind and couldn't think otherwise. Woe unto me when I almost got drowned in the ocean of my tears. Day-in, day-out, I constantly check myself if I could find fault in me why He refused to answer me. Little did I know that I, even I, could not change the times table of the Almighty. If I have the power to travel to where He dwells, I could have gone there to ask Him why He refused to answer my supplications. I've fasted and fasted and I'm now tired to fast. I've prayed and prayed and I'm now tired to pray.
Everyone we graduated together have got a good job. Some have even changed job twice or trice. Some are now managing their own company. I'm still here writing applications. All the ones I've sent were unsuccessful. When I had no alternative, I took up a low profile job. I'm there languishing with those who are unlearned. Some of them will hurl insult on me simply because we are now colleagues. I'm even ashamed to mention it I ever went to school. Why did I waste years studying why I could have got myself a job and made money? I don't even know when I'll stop this dirty job to work in my field.
I remember all my mates, they've all got married. I'm still here waiting for somebody to seek my hand in marriage. As old as I am, no man has ever said to me "How are you!" I don't even know when that man will come. When I got fed up, I did approach some men which sounds like a taboo. I was frustrated to begin to think otherwise. All my friends have got 2 or 3 kids. If I even see somebody to approach me, I could have got pregnant so I can have my child.
I was married ages ago, I'm still waiting for that God whom I was told He never fail. To me now, He looks like a failure. How long should I continue to wait! The doctors said my womb is in right order and nothing is wrong with my husband. All my in-laws have been hurling insult on me simply because I couldn't get pregnant. I even tried IVF several times but they all failed. Why?
If I wasn't born again, I could have said may be because I'm still in the world, that's why I still face all these problems. I've gone through several deliverance and healing services, all to no avail. I did read it several times in the Bible how Jesus delivered people just with a word. He even raised Lazarus from the dead after four days in the grave just by calling his name. Years after years I've sought solution to my problem, but no result. I was happy when You said to me You are on my case. I've been waiting for too long. How long more should I wait! Where are You! Are You dead or still alive! Didn't You say You neither sleep nor slumber. May be You've slept off. Should I wait for You until You're awake!
Woe unto you oh mortal! Who are you to dare open your mouth to challenge the Righteous God? Each breath you take is His. You couldn't sleep and wake up by yourself. If He dare take His breath from you, you'll become a useless corpse and your rest will be cast into a pit. He knows exactly whom He has created you to be but now He can see you want to go your own way. You want to be like Br Andrew and Sis Beatrice. You constantly envy their success and prosperity. He never fails! He is the same yesterday, today and forever!
Your groaning, weeping, crying and moaning will not make Him change His mind. No one will make Him change His plan for your life. He did say to you to continually wait upon Him until He finishes His work. He's making a way for you. You're weeping because you can't see how He does His work. The Israelites were enslaved in Egypt for 400 years. When His appointed time came, He delivered them by His mighty power and outstretched arm. At the blast of His nostrils the waters were piled up, the flowing waters stood up like a heap; the deeps were congealed in the heart of the sea. When He blew with His wind, the sea covered the enemies. They sank like lead in the mighty waters. His right hand is majestic in power. His right hand will shatter the enemies. There is none like Him among the gods! There is none like Him! He is majestic in holiness, awesome in power, always working wonders! (Exodus 15)
You said you went to school and graduated: What kind of knowledge and understanding do you have? Answer me! Wisdom, knowledge and understanding come from the Lord. When you wanted to choose your course, what to study, did you ask Him? Now you're blaming Him for not getting a job. Despite that, He's planned how your life will be. If you dare go astray from Him, then you're finished.
You said your mates. Who are they? When He formed you, you were alone. He created you uniquely for Himself. Who are those your friends? He is your best Friend who will never forsake you. "I know the plans I have for You. All My plans are there to prosper you not to harm you. My plan is to give you hope and a future, to bring you to an expected end so you could worship Me as you should." (Jeremiah 12:11). He is breaking ground for you. He is weakening your enemies so they could not rise again in the days of your prosperity. When your prosperity comes, it shall never go away. Wait, wait, wait upon Him, your Deliverer; He's on His way bringing you what He desires for you.
Pastor Radiant Ayowole Jesudairo
London, 17th August 2015.